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zotz
Sugar Apple
Bahamas
213 Posts |
 Posted - 10/16/2004 : 06:08:25
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Ringo Bob, Superdog!
Ringo loved post-it notes. No one was quite sure how this situation had developed but no one could contest its veracity! And besides, who would want to? If Ringo said that he loved post-it notes and ordered them by the case, who was to complain? Certainly not John Q. Turbot, local and international door-to-door post-it note salesman! No siree Bob, you can have all the notes you want. Just call John Q. Turbot and hold on to your scuppers. You could get your cases of notes by next day's U.P.S.
Rumelga Prue found Ringo Bob fascinating. She would sit rocking on her front porch in the cool breeze and dream of Ringo. Dream of romantic, candle-light dinners, of warm days and a lonely sailor's breeze. But Ringo never called...
Yellow, that was OK. Turquoise was fine, pink - so, so. Blue was good, red for certain occasions. His favourite though was black, with the distinguished silver ink that made such a lasting impression.
Rumelga longed for Ringo to leave her a post-it note so she took to going for long walks. Long walks in the woods, long walks on the beach. Hoping, always hoping that she would return to find a note from Ringo posted on her front door or perhaps on her front gate post.
Ringo, meanwhile, was involved in a quest. He was on a mission, trying to track down Snappy Jack. The last anyone had heard about Snappy was that he was outward bound on a tramp supertanker from Chubby Cay to Sri Lanka. In obtaining this information, Ringo went through 5,513 cases of various coloured post-it notes. He left a veritable trail of gummy paper around the globe. In his efforts to find Snappy, Ringo gummed up the works in more than one rural village all over the northern hemisphere and here and there about the southern hemisphere as well.
Rumelga Prue, for her part, had perfected the arts of porch rocking and combing (no not hair!)
About now, you might be wondering about Ringo's blindness with respect to Miss Prue. You might also be wondering about the description "Superdog" and about Ringo's love of post-it notes.
Wander on baby, perhaps you'll bump into Rumelga on one of her combs.
Ringo's love of post-it notes is easily explained. Early in life, Ringo had come to recognize his strong territorial instincts and had decided to make his fortune in real estate, Texas Style! Ringo found that he could mark more territory in a day using post-it notes than with any other method. Before his fifth birthday, Ringo was a bona fide phenomenon. He owned vast stretches of land throughout Texas. There were a few mean rumours concerning his acquisition strategies but, on the whole, they were fairly mild as far as Texas was concerned. By seven his land holdings spanned the globe and his instincts were leading him on to other challenges.
Ringo moved to a small villa on the western end of Paradise Island in the Bahamas. It was here that Rumelga first scented him. It was here that he ran face to face into The Potcake Problem!
As to his being known as "Superdog," that is even easier to explain. As I am sure you have realized by now, Ringo was always biting off more than he could chew. People began referring to him as the Underdog, but someone soon pointed out that^2 particular appellation was already taken by a mutt with connections to a Sweet Polly Purebred. One day, someone said, "Hey, that Ringo, he's a real Superdog!" and the name sort of stuck (with more tenacity that a post-it note backed with Zany Glu.)
As to his blindness towards Rumelga Prue, nothing is ever simple when it comes to matters of the heart.
It seems that at about this time Miss Prue began to speculate in blue nylon thread futures. This was to lead to many interesting developments and ramifications in her future.
Try as he might, Ringo could not seem to find any further information concerning Snappy Jack's whereabouts. Finally the U.N. had to put curbs on his post-it note usage and he was forced to suspend his search. In disgust and mild despair he began hanging out with the potcakes around Retirement Park.
When Rumelga learned of these developments one day while she was talking on the phone to her cousin in Spanish Wells, she knew that she must take drastic measures to reclaim Ringo from the depths to which he had fallen (or sunk for you nautical buffs.)
Several frustrating months later, Rumelga was ready to concede defeat and Ringo was fast reaching the point of no deposit/no return. He still had his land holdings but he was dissipated, his health was shot, non-existent.
The crucial moment came when Rumelga bumped into John Q. one day while she was having lunch at Le Shack (the new one in Coconuts.) Rumelga was talking to John Q. about Ringo's plight when lightning struck! It turned their rare burgers into well done bricks, and their buns into charred crumbs, but when the excitement died down, John Q. found that he had a marvelous idea captured in his cranium. A bright light in the grey-matter if you will.
He told Rumelga of some very special, hand made post-it notes that he had heard about. These notes were made from special paper. Paper made from U.S. currency. Hand made paper. The dust from conch pearls was then painstakingly in laid in intricate designs by noted local artist C. Carey. The sheets were then sent to New Plymouth Manor where the Zotzbrothers applied the special backing. The process and formulation were secret but the results were spectacular! After the note was applied, it could be given spoken commands as to how many foot-pounds of pull would be required to unstick it. It could also be password protected to allow the poster to reset the stick-um-force! For an extra $5,000.00 per pad, voice- message record and replay features were available.
I cannot reveal the actual cost for a case of these special notes, but Rumelga knew that she would be risking all that she had earned in her blue nylon thread endeavours in an effort to save Ringo. Imagine his ecstacy and renewed zest for life when he received 12^2 cases of post-it notes, seven cases being the very special ones!
A year later, Rumelga and Ringo came upon something very odd in the sand as they were combing the beaches of Rose Island...
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all the best,
drew
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Bificus
Moderator
USA
773 Posts |
Posted - 10/16/2004 : 07:35:53
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Hi Drew,
This is another brilliant piece of work, I really enjoyed reading it.
I agree with Fay's comments from the previous piece, you should put these into a collection and try to find the proper market. I think you have a winner with these.
Best Wishes!
~Chris |
A pat on the back for a job well done is all well and good, but it causes one's abilities to grow stagnant. The fear of loss may mean no loss, but it also means no gain. If one's abilities are to continue to grow, they must know where they need to improve.
~Chris Riggs |
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volvic
Moderator
United Kingdom
390 Posts |
Posted - 10/18/2004 : 09:21:12
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Drew
You have an amazing talent for the "bizarre and barmy".
In the UK we have many comedy sketch shows that use this sense of humour, have you thought about developing these short stories into comedy sketches.
Definiately go for the short story collection though - I think it would popular as it's so innovative.
well done
Christine |
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anteagua
Moderator
United Kingdom
987 Posts |
Posted - 10/18/2004 : 18:39:58
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Hi Drew,
This is certainly interesting work but enjoyable all the same. Have you thought of comedy sketches, the Edinburgh Fringe always has sketches like these.
You have a talent here and good luck!
Cheers!
Barbara |
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